Speeding in a New Corvette
A Texas senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.'
Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.'
Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this,' and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'
The old gentleman paused. Then said, 'Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Texas State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
'Have a good day, Sir,' replied the trooper.
'Have a good day, Sir,' replied the trooper.
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Stick It to Um!
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13....13'
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some b@$t@rd poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...
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3 Men Amazed?
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men ... that night all three were to wear a leather dominatrix style bodice, stilettos and mask over their eyes.
After a few days, they met again ...
The engaged woman said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4'' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you, then we made love all night long.'
The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night.'
The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'
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